Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
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