She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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