Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize