I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
