Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
They took my balls.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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