Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
