i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
