why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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