Farmville is her only friend.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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