Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
