Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
