im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
