at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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