I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
