I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
