Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
