It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
