His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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