By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
