you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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