i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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