Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
