you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
