Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize