i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
