when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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