READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
