I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
