He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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