I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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