they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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