i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
