i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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