I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize