he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
