Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
