I cockslap morals
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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