We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
