About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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