i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
