Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize