Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize