I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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