Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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