butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I accidentally had phone sex last night
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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