is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
