??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
