yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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