you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
