JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
