He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
