I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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