I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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