so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
