Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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