As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize