If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
