we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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