its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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