I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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