My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
