Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
