I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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