why didn't you poke me back
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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