You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
