Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
