# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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