if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
