white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
