What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Who died my cat blue again?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
