ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
