Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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