New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
