so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It was confusing and full of hummus
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
