how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
