My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
